“I’m American!”

If I’ve never expressed it before or you’ve never been to this little corner of cyberspace before, I must share with you that I’m envious of Asians.

So yesterday I was at my friend’s house with a few of my friends, one of which is an exchange student from Korea.  She’s uber smart, beautiful, hilarious, and can’t swim.  My friends and I actually are making progress on that though; she can doggy paddle now.

Anywho, we were all standing in front of the massive mirror in a bathroom for who knows why, when my Asian friend starts pulling at the edges of her eyes.  She squints, pulls her eyelids up to make her eyes bigger, and pulls at the corners of her eyes to make them wider. I told her to squish the corners of her eyes in and look American.  She did as I said and looked like a manga character.

“I’M AMERICAN!”  she exclaimed. I think we all laughed for a solid five minutes. How easily entertained we are.

Frei is a NOB.

Asian Friend’s mom: “FOB!!”

Asian Friend: “You can’t call them a FOB! You are a FOB!!”

Frei: “Uhhhh what’s a FOB?”

That’s right, I am a NOB. Never On the Boat.  I am an Asian at heart raised in American culture in an American family.  I could go twenty generations back in my lineage and find no one outside of Europe.  I’m allergic to soy sauce. That’s an automatic out.

But I was also raised with Asians. I have a boat load (No pun intended) of Asian friends that I have been around since kindergarten.  I embrace my adopted culture.  I think lumpia, Filipino egg rolls, are about the best things ever.  I’ve eaten popsicles with mung beans in them. I can cuss you out in Korean.  When I go to my Filipino friend’s house, her grandmother gives me size 6 sandals to wear in the house. I wear an eight. I have near-Asian grades.

All in all, I really am Asian, I just don’t look like it.